Miami Velvet

Reviews 3

SA

Sammy Kramer

My wife and I went here this past Saturday for the first time. It was pretty packed with lots of people standing around, some dancing, and others sitting on the couches near the dance floor. The clientele seemed to be predominantly Hispanic and in general very attractive. Plenty of eye-candy. Most seemed to be in their 20s and 30s with some older couples mixed in. We didnt notice too many scandalous outfits being worn by the ladies on the dance floor though which we have come to expect from other clubs like this. Most were in regular miniskirts, tight shorts, or jeans. We were told that play is allowed anywhere in the club at anytime but that it rarely happens outside of the towel room area. On this particular Saturday night in the summer, we didnt notice anything happening on the dance floor that you wouldnt see in a normal dance club. My wife and I tried to get something going, but even she was hesitant about it considering we hadnt even seen anything as simple as heavy petting in this area. The dance area was nice, and very spacious. The music was incredibly loud and made it very difficult to carry on any conversation, but that seems to be the norm for most places like this. We liked how the couches were large enough to fit more than one couple at a time. This makes starting a conversation much easier, but again the music was so loud it made it very difficult. We were told that all of the action happens in the Towel Room but that they didnt begin enforcing the towels only rule until 12-1. We walked over there around 12:30 and no one was there. Around 1:15 we checked in again and there were a few people in towels but no enforcement of the rule. Finally around 2 am they began really enforcing the towels only rule. We saw several couples get booted out for coming in fully dressed. We were one of the first handful of couples to enter there. Eventually, more and more couples began to enter. Some observations of the towel room. Things start very late here (after 2 am). Everyone keeps there towels on. It was like being in a poorly lit day spa. We only saw one other person (a female) not wearing a towel outside one of the private rooms. My wife and I were the only couple brave enough to walk around without the towel covering us up. Also, we noticed many of the girls would keep all of their underwear on under their towels. We would estimate that about 85% of the couples who entered this area would just walk through, poke their head in the orgy room, then leave, or they were there waiting for one of the private rooms in which they would enter and then promptly shut the door. Only about 15% actually used the "orgy" room and surprisingly even a few of them kept their towels on while doing their thing. It just seems that the clientele here and the culture in general is very conservative when it comes to nudity and body image. This is just very different from other places we have been. Overall the club is very clean, and the staff are friendly. The club seemed well kept and was very spacious, and well laid out. The adult movies were of good quality so no complaints there. We did have a pretty good time and may come back another time to give it another try.

A

A Private User

I tried and went to almost everything that this place had to offer to give it a chance even though I was turned off the moment I walked around the main part of the club with my SO. The place looks okay or a little better online, but very bland in person. I have been to other swinger clubs (in MD and DC), and this one is by very, very far the worse of them, theres just no comparison whatsoever. Anyway, the main part looks no better than a roadside restaurant lounge w/ dance floor and had your run-of-the-mill lights bouncing around the dance floor. Theres a standard small cafeteria kitchen with standard budget finger food that we didnt touch. Past that to the left, you have a group area where there are 3-4 separate high beds covered by red curtains in a super basic living room-looking area. The beds were not the least bit luxurious-looking or sexy, and they were stiff- which isnt a bad thing if youre into that. In these areas, throughout the night, we saw only mild nudity of private parts (just from women) and oral sexual activity hidden by someones head. Keep in mind that this was a COUPLES NIGHT on a SATURDAY when the club is supposed to get the MOST ACTION going in general, and we made sure to be there between 11 P.M. through 2-3 in the morning to give things a chance to heat up to their prime. We kept going back and forth between the areas to check on the action throughout the night. There was way more action than this in similar areas in the other swinger clubs I have gone to. So, we went to another area that was loungy and was even less impressive-looking. Then, we headed to the locker rooms to change into towels to go to the more exclusive area, hoping to see much more action and much more decorative rooms and such. Action? Yes, finally in the window rooms and open door rooms to a fairly full extent. No threesums + though, just couples- even in the group private room. Visual appeal of the rooms and corridors and private lounge area? Sooo incredibly minimal and bland, especially the rooms (which each looked like someone on a whim decided to put up four little walls and shove a couple mattresses with sheets on them in there to complete the package) and corridors, with no thematic changes at all- all of which Im not used to. The running theme is that there is no theme anywhere except "looks like your run-of-the-mill club on a small budget". We were horrified to find that there appeared to be no safe clean policy with the rooms; no change of sheets after youre done. We saw semen stains and/or condom wrappers in each empty room we were in when we were going to have our own intimate moment. Again, not something Im used to at other swinger clubs. How this place ever won an award, let alone the impressive ones listed on its site, I have no idea. I just know that I waaaaaaay overpaid with 40 bucks (online for one-month couple membership or 50 bucks in person) and 85 bucks for the two of us. The other clubs that are extremely far superior to this one were also a lot cheaper...OH THE IRONY!

A

A Private User

First impression... its a trucking terminal someone has tried to make into a club. The lobby lobby looks like one from a cheap stag film parlor from the 70s. The attendant at the desk is not friendly... "gimme your money and get outta here" kind of attitude. It smells musty inside. "Dinner" is a small buffet with finger food snacks that we didnt dare go near. The interior looks NOTHING like the pictures on the web site and our guided tour was given not by one of the club employees but by one of the regular customers who happened to be near when we asked to be shown around. If you are hoping to find single women forget it. The only two unattached women we saw all night were only interested in each other. There were lots of single men however. They prowled the place like creepy stalkers pacing from one end of the main club room to the next trying to see and bee seen. The couples that showed up all staked out a defensive position around the perimeter of the room and all watched each other. Either that or for protection against the creepy stalker guys. Nobody wanted to be the first to go into the back rooms so we gave it a go only to be assaulted by a very rude man who appeared to speak no English yelling something about towels. It seems our "tour guide" neglected to tell us you couldnt go past a certain point without removing your clothes and getting a towel. This was a complete turn off so we went back inside the main club and sat for another hour hoping something would happen... it finally did. The lesbians left together. So did we. There is absolutely nothing hot or sexy about this place whatsoever. We basically paid 80 bucks to drink our own booze and watch other couples watching everybody else.

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